a complete list of my insecurities

because i want to see them all in one place, because i’m sick of having them scattered over my whole life, because honesty is healing, because writing things down gets it all out. 

  • my short stature sometimes makes me feel like a child, stops me feeling like i can appear refined or elegant or like a woman.
  • i have very bad ingrown hairs and bumpy skin on my legs, so much so that sometimes stupid boys who i let touch my skin ask me “are you cold?”
  • my whole chin region - it is long and round and there are two of them.
  • bad stretchmarks on my chest.
  • my boobs: scarred from my breast reduction, victims of gravity, bigger areolas than you ever see in lovely boob pictures.
  • i don’t appear special, i don’t have an interesting presence, people only think i’m great once they’ve become close to me, i will never be in a romantic partnership because it is only ever in friendship that people think i’m excellent and amazing.
  • my tummy always bulges, my hips always carry extra weight. i can’t wear bodycon dresses because i am more lumpy space princess than curvy hourglass.
  • i have short legs and fat arms.
  • my meds make me inarticulate, so where i used to have confidence in conversation and being able to say what i mean, now i fumble for words and make a mediocre impression.
  • i look like a pudding, a muffin, a small round kid.
  • men will always lie to me.
  • i will never be enough for one person.
  • i will always be too much for one person.
  • when i am on top during sex, i need a repetitive slow rhythmic pace, and so i can’t relax because i worry the other person is getting bored.
  • my booty is not round enough.
  • i am clumsy and dorky and even if i manage to appear otherwise, people will always figure it out if they get close enough.
  • i am not extraordinary at anything.
  • everyone will eventually get sick of my anxiety and inability to reply to messages and phone calls consistently.
  • there will always be somebody better.

lil-c0met replied to your photo “i have felt weird and unspecial all day, like a useless dowdy idiot…”

but you are always the brightest shining star in my life! <3


<3 ༼ ༎ຶ _ ༎ຶ༽ <3

estebanwaseaten: Talia, you radiant jelly bean of beauty.

today i woke up at 5pm bloated and disorient(at?)ed and my hair looks like a mop and i’m almost 30 and it’s scaring me and people only see how great i am once they’ve become my friend and my selfies get no attention and i love you and SHUT UP I’M PUBLISHING THIS

Anonymous: Tips for hanging out with some good looking boys???

productofsweden:

they’re probably really boring so make sure your phones fully charged

ruby

groooooooooooosss